I am fully into day three of a Southern adventure. Some may already know of my illustrious heritage. I come from a family of self-proclaimed rednecks. (Well, the men are rednecks. The women mostly just put up with the men.)Day one we flew out of Portland to Nashville via the Chicago Midway airport. We had enough time to stop at the Haray Caray’s restaurant—not a single microbrew available on tap or in a bottle. (This is going to be a recurring theme.) Regardless of the limited libations, it was nice to take a breather and enjoy a sit down lunch. The food wasn’t anything to write about.
Food worth writing about would come later when we finally arrived at my parents’ house in Smyrna, just outside of Nashville. Mom is a great cook and had a full meal of German noodles with pesto (fusion cooking at its best), oven-roasted vegetables, fried okra (damn, I love that stuff), and baked chicken. It is great to see my family after such a long time. We only get together a couple times a year at most. This is the first time in nearly four years that I have traveled here.
Day two, we rolled into in Jackson, Tennessee—the place of my birth. We are staying at a Holiday Inn where my dad’s side of the family has joined us.
Holiday Inns in the South don’t have the same amenities I have come to expect. Where the heck is the WiFi? And Diana and I are suffering through the lack of good coffee. We are kicking ourselves for not packing some Stumptown Hairbender.
Last night’s dinner was at a Ryan’s in Jackson. Nothing like a buffet restaurant to remind you of the weight problem that plagues the United States in general and the South in particular. All-you-can-eat is not a good idea people! I was also a little disturbed by the dental health of our waitresses—almost comically crooked and gold teeth abound. Really, it was weird. I’m not being mean; I was just freaked out by it.
Day three, we are going to my great-aunts 90th birthday party. This will give us a little more time with my aunts, uncles and cousins. It has been a little confusing and overwhelming for the kids. There are a lot of faces that they’ve never seen before. Not too mention the fact that some of my relatives talk a little “differently” than what my kids are accustomed to hearing.
Below is an example. Please note, this is not an actual relative. This guy works in the warehouse at the company where my dad works. I’m sure I have an uncle that has attempted something similar at sometime—it just hasn’t made it to YouTube yet. Enjoy!
I love that picture of you – caption should read: “Josh without any Stumptown coffee in his system.”